25 Mar 10
On My Lack of Home Internet Access
Since moving into my new apartment I have not had the Internet tubes. I found them too expensive and sought to test the fickleness of my loyalty to a minimalist aesthetic. An unexpected consequence of this has been my new lack of access to porn. So, I subscribed to Playboy. That is, the print magazine.
In each monthly issue are tasteful images of boobs and digitally minimized vulvar creases. Of course a subscription costs money, too. But hey, at least I’m not looking at the nasty stuff, right? What I am asking rhetorically is, do I need to look at “hentai” images of mutilated schoolgirls being raped by monster tentacles? Do I need to watch Ukrainian home videos of men engaged in acts that lead to unintentional traumatic rectal perforation? And most of all, do I really need menstruation porn in my life? The answer, I know, is that I do not need to jerk off to all this stuff.
I just really, really want to.
In an another, unrelated realm of my life, it has become apparent to many acquaintances of mine that I do not have an object for my finer gentlemanly feelings. But my options for meeting people are limited. Kurt doesn’t have a network of friends that I don’t know already. A further consideration is that he is a rat (and a male one besides). He is my hetero life-mate for sure, but as a rodent he cannot provide the companionship and tenderness of an actual human being. A final disqualification is that if I cut off the supply to him of Funyuns, salami and beer, he would savagely turn on me.
As for meeting people at work, that option is cut off because the patients my age don’t seem interested in flirting since they are so preoccupied with expelling the growing contents of their uterus or abscess or whatever the case may be.
Phew! All that said, does anyone have any nice lady friends they’d like to introduce me to?
pseudoisaac 