Sleep machismo

I fell asleep on the bus yesterday and only woke up to the sound of the bus driver saying "last stop" over the loudspeaker. I rushed off the now-empty bus and realized I was a half mile beyond my destination. I’ve never been able to sleep on a city bus before but I sure did this time because I had a thick cotton hat on that allowed my to rest my head against the window without getting drain bramage and I have not been getting a lot of sleep this past week and this semester because of work and school.

This reminded me of when I read the phrase "sleep machismo" in reference to people’s attitude toward sleep as a low-priority activity, the first to lose out when there are other demands in one’s week. The author was some health professional who said that people are missing sleep at the expense of their health and not even knowing it.

But I know there are many adverse effects on my health and social life and do it anyway. I have been losing time to hang out with friends and family, losing opportunities to be outside in the sun and seasons, and absorbing some possible mental health problems that may be making me more depressed or negative. But it seems like a bargain I can reasonably take: I am getting done some necessary coursework for the next stage in my life, I am paying down tens of thousands in student loan debt, in other words, I am doing things that cannot wait. Maybe I can compensate with extra exercise and a healthy diet and with better time management. In other words there is no "machismo" involved, rather it is a sober accounting of the costs and benefits and a compromise between wellness and accomplishment, and between the future and the present.

Besides, as I have been learning, people who are resilient tend to view their current problems as a temporary hardship that will eventually be overcome with time and effort. Now I can worry about the process of "becoming," later I can enter the "being" phase.