Things to do in the month of May

1. I am going to try to use the terms “invaginate” and “invagination” much more frequently in everyday conversation. And if anyone comments on it, I will accuse him or her of being the sicko for even suggesting that there is anything naughty about the word.

2. I am going to do some video or audio recording of my grandma so we have more than just images of her when she is gone. Images are silent but when a loved one dies people often wish they had recordings of his or her voice.

3. I am going to camp the fuck in some state forests here in Minnesota. I was not even aware of these vast tracts of land. But apparently you can camp in them at a reduced rate, set up camp at more remote locations within them, and they have even fewer people around than state parks. I should do it before the ticks really start to come out.

4. I am going to find a female to be my companion in the exchange of certain sympathies that are vital to my being.

5. I am going to dress a little better. I was flipping through an issue of GQ and there was a before-and-after type style makeover, and the “before” guy was wearing almost the exact same thing I had on! The author had some condescending comment such as “Nothing says, ‘I just threw this shirt on’ like a tee shirt poking out under the collar.”

6. I am going to continue reading Les bienveillantes, which has become another interminable project of mine. After all it is right up my alley: gore, French language, and some very methodical and exacting descriptions of the action. But il n’est pas court.