Month: December 2016

Last week I underwent Lasik surgery. It went great.

While paying beforehand I had a brief frustration with the administrator of my health savings account. They seem to put up as many obstacles as they can to prevent you from spending your own money on your own medical expenses.

Ultimately the only consequence was that I paid a third of the $3000 bill with after-tax money. This is only an annoyance. Two thirds was paid with pre-tax money, which makes a big difference.

The surgery itself went great. I was horizontal, looking up into a lighted machine. Numbing eyedrops were instilled. I focused on a green dot. One eye was patched. My eyelashes were taped back. A flat device was placed on my eyeball. Some sort of cut was made, but all I felt was pressure. My vision smeared to one side and then turned to black with white starlike specks that brightened and then pulsed gently about, like powder suspended on a drop of dark oil.

For four to six seconds a computerized beep sounded during which, I assume, the lens was corrected by laser. A verbal ending message sounded but I am not sure if it was a computerized female voice or that of a technician.

My vision returned and I focused on the green dot, which was now large and blurry. It shrunk back almost to its original size, though it remained blurry.

Then came the other eye. I remained alert for the slightest twinge of pain but there was no pain at all, at any point. I listened for verbal instructions from the doctor and staff but there wasn’t much I had to do or remember to do.

I was driven home by my parents. I kept my eyes closed throughout most of Mr Show, Apocalypse Now, and Tremors. I napped because of the diazepam. I woke up while Colonel Kurtz was telling the story of the snail crawling along the razor. "This is my dream; this is my nightmare. Crawling, slithering, along the edge of a straight razor, and surviving."

Later I got up, continued my eyedrop regimen, and walked to get a coffee.

I really enjoyed my brief walks that day and the rest of the week. I indulged deliberately in the sense of sight, and I will continue to do so. I realized that winter in Minnesota is a good time for this procedure because I can look at the definition and crispness of my clean snowy surroundings (although less so with the recent rain).

I am truly grateful for this technology and for the skilled staff that provided me with sharp vision again.

Included: I trashed $250 in prescription eyewear that became junk overnight.

Tomorrow I go in for Lasik.

I will recline. I will focus on the MEDITATIVE music and GREEN ambient lighting I selected. A flap will be created on my eyeball with a physical blade. The flap will be opened. The laser will correct the single causative focus problem of my vision. I may smell an acrid smoke. The flap will be closed. Then I will sit up and recover as best I can.

Then I will have sharp vision again!

I seek balance. I am sometimes flung between an unquenchable optimism about the future, which makes me suspicious of my own elevated feelings; and an ill-humored desire for withdrawal, solitude and disavowal.

Oddly these polarized moments of clarity and heightening occur in the same context: when I am outside on a hike or a climb or a bike ride. Or sitting on a log by the riverside. Or trudging through snowy trails.

A divided self is not necessarily a problem. It might even have benefits that I can’t specify at the moment. But for my own well-being I’ll seek reconciliation and unity of the psyche.

I’ll make a project of it. I’ll call upon every loved one and liked one and upon the limitless capital of nature to solve this problem. I never do new year’s resolutions, but this seems like a good one for 2017.

Included: the same damn spot

I found out that Harriet Brewing has closed. I was going in to fill a growler and thought maybe the “permanently closed” icon in the info bar on my phone was a mistake or the result of a dirty tactic by a business rival. A quick search showed that their own announcement and the newspaper articles on the closure said they would shut down in January 2017.

But sure enough, when I poked my head in there was the sound of drills drilling and carts crashing around removing everything.

They were at their best as a community gathering place in summer when the grate doors were wide open and the live band was going. Their ethos was kindred to the neighboring Hub Bike Co-op and Gandhi Mahal.

I am sorry to see them go. However, this is not exactly a tragedy because:

• The quality and consistency of their beer was open to debate. A friend told me his bar dropped Harriet from the tap list when they couldn’t maintain consistency. I agreed.

• Each brew had kind of the same syrupy-sweet taste that filled your mouth and nose. Yes, they are Belgian-inspired. But no, they don’t all have to be syrupy.

• The dark and steamy interior went against the trend of bright, industrial spaces that people seek nowadays. I almost expected to step on a mouse or slip in a puddle of water in there in the winter.

A closure that did actually disappoint me was a couple of years ago when Mosaic restaurant across the street from Harriet suddenly closed. They had a great triangular patio with a fire pit, the best bathroom in Minneapolis, and a freckled beauty who served me the best garlic fries I’ve ever had (I think they won an award. For the fries, not for being pretty). I would rather spend an hour in Mosaic’s excellent bathroom than in Harriet.

I think Mosaic might have survived if it was around now, since Minnehaha has been resurfaced and some lethal features of the road have been mitigated. I bet in two years, the whole area will be improved just because of those bike and pedestrian improvements. Yes, this is an instance of tenants being pressured out. But Harriet in turn replaced some other tenant six years ago.

In the meantime I will go to Lake Monster Brewing for their excellent Empty Rowboat IPA and their spacious taproom and huge courtyard with cool giant sculptures. They are also in a transitioning industrial area, are the same distance from me, and will fill any clean growler, unlike certain stiffs who will remain unnamed (Northbound Brewpub).

I never meant to copy and paste internet links on this blog.

In fact today I was going to write about how some observations during a recent nature hike made me reflect on how the ruthless struggle for existence led equally to beauty and horror in living things and how this lent poignancy and meaning to a particular thing I am dealing with and blah blah blah.

But I just laughed so hard that my ribs hurt so here is this link, and it is much more fun than what I had in mind:

https://vimeo.com/channels/staffpicks/193729267