I got surgically sterilized on Friday. I did it to be as certain as possible that I will never cause a pregnancy or father any children.
It was through Planned Parenthood in Portland and it involved as little hassle as one can hope for in the US medical system. Insurance will cover what they claim is 100% but I might have to pay $150 (one copay for each of the 3 visits). The only hassle was related to covid precautions and the overstretched, understaffed telephone scheduling system.
A Family Nurse Practitioner (FNP) performed my vasectomy. The procedure is simple enough not to require a doctor or a doctor’s supervision.
All the info i received from her, the RN, the medical assistants and the administrative staff was straightforward, fact-based, nonjudgmental, and free of inappropriate questions such as whether i am “totally, completely sure” about it.
For instance, instead of asking, “Are you sure you want to do this?” the staff would say, “Vasectomy is a permanent birth control option and only reversible with difficulty so people who opt for it should be certain they do not want to ever father any children.”
They are required to ask how many children you have (zero in my case) and this did not trigger any invasive follow-up questions. There was also no chit-chat that could be perceived as invasive. I think this is one of the advantages of doing it at Planned Parenthood.
I was prepared to argue and fight if there was resistance to my request. I was prepared to point out that my bodily autonomy and integrity were violated when i was only a couple of weeks old when a doctor subjected me to non-therapeutic genital cutting and that the least they could do now was respect the wishes of an adult when it comes to his reproductive autonomy. Fortunately there was no need to argue my case or get worked up like that.
This contrasts with the experience of a coworker of mine who told the story of the doctor trying to dissuade her from her sterilization procedure up to moments before sedating her. She was younger (26), female, undergoing a bilateral salpingectomy (a more invasive surgery) and lived in Nebraska. In contrast, I am 34, male, undergoing a simple snip-snip, and living in Portland, Oregon.
The method involved a tiny titanium clip. It will not set off airport metal detectors nor interfere with MRIs. I had to sit with a heating pad on my lap for a while to warm myself up and let the lorazepam take effect. There was a topical anesthetic (i think) followed by a few sharp needle pokes. Then no sensation at all. The FNP verbally notified me of each step, including the cauterization, and I could hardly follow along because I had so little sensation.
I initially declined the lorazepam but the FNP said it helped with the procedure because a relaxed and anxiety-free mind will help to relax the anatomy and make the surgical targets easier to find and work with. The scrotum is full of tiny muscles that can expand and contract with the ambient conditions and one’s mental state.
I was in at 1100 and out by 1345. I also had a pre-procedure consultation and must go back for the effectiveness check (i.e. bust a load in a cup).
I walked home because I live close by. I stopped to get some dish soap and have no memory of going into the store and buying it, nor do i remember most of my walk home. The lorazepam inhibits the formation of new memories. I forgot the latter parts of the procedure as well.
I was given a prescription for hydrocodone/acetaminophen but I did not bother to fill it, nor did i take any other medications for pain. I only feel slight and transient discomfort when I jostle my balls a bit.
Two days later, the incisions are healing, i have very little bruising and no swelling. I am taking it easy and have not felt the need to ice my balls. And tomorrow life will be mostly back to normal. I am keeping bandages over the incisions to ensure they are dry and covered.
I will go into the clinic in 3-4 months to produce a semen sample to confirm none of the little swimmers are escaping.
pseudoisaac 