…by going to a movie with a friend:

The recent Scorcese film is incredible. It did not feel like three and a half hours because the "genre" changed over the course of the film, and certain characters were only revealed to be bad guys over time, in stomach-churning betrayals and bursts of ugly violence. Robert De Niro’s role echoed his sliminess in Goodfellas, where he seemed like a man of the people who welcomed the protagonist into his fold, only to reveal himself as a methodical killer. The $22 IMAX ticket hurt, but I remain committed to moviegoing for the AAA titles (which reminds me, I still need to see Oppenheimer…).

…by going birding:

In Redmond, WA last week, I came across an American bittern foraging out in the open. The bird kept its bill pointed diagonally upward, in a behavior that keeps it camouflaged in its cattail pond habitat. Then it got spooked and flew off. I think it was passing through as a migrant. As much as I like marshes and cattail ponds, I had never seen an American bittern before this week. It was unexpectedly large.

I visited Seward Park and looked at the works of Hannah Salia, a talented painter who captures nature scenes (many influenced by specific places in the park) and references classical mythology in the accompanying poems and titles. Right up my alley. The staff there provided hot tea for me to clutch with both hands while I watched the belted kingfisher preside over a nearby small bay on the increasingly cold mornings here.

…and by enjoying a hot espresso drink at Olympia and Realfine:

These coffee shops in Columbia City and Capitol Hill are an oasis. If you can put up with a little cold, you have the patio to yourself to read your book or just watch the many different types of people go by. A quad cappuccino, extra hot, with lovingly poured milk art, is a beautiful thing.

Changes in friends and former colleagues:

A friend made an astonishing personal transformation by losing 50 pounds and quitting drinking over the summer. She said the thing that prompted her to change was turning 40. It’s amazing to see the results. Another friend looks a bit depressed and tired heading into winter. He complains of aches and pains and suggested we can’t play tennis until spring, despite the cold but clear weather. It’s hard to guess at a person’s mental state, but I am struck at how the months and years bring optimism and positive change to some but depression and declining health and fitness to others. In conversation, I asked a hairstylist what was a common topic people bring up when sitting in her chair, and she said that many, many people remark on the way time flies past them.

Reflecting on news events

Depraved violence has broken out in several places in the world. It seems far away for now, but it could happen here too. My dad has close friends in Jerusalem and is wrenched by the developments even as he cherishes spending mornings with his grandkids. I hate how the American news media filters events through a tired way of thinking and insists that people choose a side.

As gruesome as the videos are, I still have a habit of occasionally visiting kaotic.com and seeing the worst, most recent depravity humans are capable of. In a vague way that I can’t formally justify, I think watching gore videos is a way of refusing to avert your eyes from the truth. I don’t think everyone should watch these videos. But they should be accessible. I think some people might clarify or change their political views if they saw them. As a side note, the worst of the worst videos come from amateur criminals in Latin America as well as traffic violence. Many of the killings are of the same nature as in the Scorcese movie – brutal, petty, improvised, and done in a field.

Currently reading The Emotional Brain by Joseph LeDoux.

This book is difficult, more so than his "The Deep History of Ourselves" or even "Anxious." But I am reading it closely and actively with a red pen in hand because I think it is very important and interesting. Important because we are creating something close to a synthetic brain without even understanding how our own minds work. And interesting because I am seeing how psychology concepts introduced to me many years ago, such as classical and instrumental conditioning, are contributing mechanisms of so much emotional disorder and avoidance and suffering. This reminds me, in turn, of infinite arbitrary mental relations described in "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" and the wisdom of ACT and Jon Kabat-Zinn and of occasionally turning off the mental word machine and simply experiencing awareness directly, and observing verbal relations and thoughts rather than being caught up in them. My most recent meditation habit in this vein is non dual meditation, and I follow along with this quaint but perfect ten year old YouTube meditation again and again.

About the photo:

I biked past these drug enjoyers on 12th Avenue South on Sunday. I doubt it’s fun to nod off on a public sidewalk for an hour with your ass in the air. Then again, they don’t do it because it’s fun but because of an addiction. For all the unsightliness of public drug addiction, it is drivers who are the real threat to my life. Today the driver who almost hit me was a guy in a minivan with windows frosted over so he could hardly see. When he slammed on his brakes, he flung his hands up as if to say, “Not my fault, I can’t see anything!” A recent Seattle sticker that read, “Drivers are more dangerous than homeless people” rings true.